I'm going to have to write about my trip to Nicaragua this summer in bits and pieces. Realistically, it took up over half a journal of front and back page writing while I was out there. I felt if I didn't write every detail in my journal, it wouldn't do the trip justice..... it still didn't.
As most people know, my first day in Diriamba was more than an adventure. I got robbed. While this did not define my trip, it certainly set a tone and taught me a lot. It challenged my view to love and trust. And, it confirmed some truths I already knew.
I was having dinner with friends on the main street when I was robbed. My camera (if anyone knows me, it is my most prized possession) was sitting in my lap under the table cloth. I have been doing photography for at least 10 years and whether I am home or abroad it is on my person. We had finished dinner and were enjoying good conversation when all I remember is feeling my camera being grabbed. I reacted, grabbing onto the strap. Within seconds I was pulled backward out of my chair and into the street.... the restaurant is open-air. I kept holding on. I'm pretty sure I was yelling at the 2 guys robbing me but it happened so fast. I had a death grip on the strap but the thief was strong.... (thanks to rock climbing for the strength in my hands!) After being drug about 6 feet, the thief gave my camera one last tug and broke my hold. Feet pounded past my head as I lay face first in the street.
I had contemplated getting up and running after the guys, after all, I can run 1/2 marathons. But in a skirt and flip-flops and unknown town, catching them would be hard.... and then what, I'm not exactly a skilled fighter. It took me a little while to realize the guys I was with had run after the thieves. Andrea and Kari, my missionary friends, helped me up. I walked back to the sidewalk and started pacing, worried about Freddy and Orlando since they disappeared around a corner after the camera stealer's. Then, I started shaking. My whole body seemed to be loosing control. I sat down and just started crying. Big, heavy tears. I couldn't control it. My mind was catching up with everything that happened.
I then felt sticky, wet on my legs. I pulled up my long skirt revealing torn up knees and blood dripping into my shoes. Swelling and bruises were started to form on my legs. All of a sudden pain rolled over me. My adrenaline had been so strong I hadn't felt it for about 15 minutes. A local woman ran and grabbed napkins and water to clean up my legs. Andrea stood with her hand on my back, wide-eyed and unsure what to do or say. We had to wait for the guys to return.
I remember I was angry, so angry that someone thought they had a right to my things. Angry because they didn't know me, they didn't know the months I had saved for my camera, how hard I worked. Everything I owned I prized and took care of. They just thought they had a right to it. They thought because I was an American I just had the money to buy what I want when I wanted it. I wasn't angry at the thieves so much as I was at the sin.
I was also angry at the apathy. There were people all over the streets and only my friends did something about it. People watched me get drug through the street. Had just 1 or 2 stepped up, the thieves wouldn't have made it far. I felt convicted. How often did I stand by and not act when I knew I should? Hadn't I seen little injustices and not stopped because I didn't have the time or it wasn't my problem? One of my favorite quotes resounded, "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." All those apathetic people in the streets were probably pretty good people by the world's standards. You don't have to be a bad person to allow evil, you just have to do nothing about it. And if you are unaware of injustice it's probably because you don't want to know and not because you just don't know.
Within those seconds, I felt so alone. A street full of people and I still was hurt. Then, I heard it. The gentle voice that stills your spirit. "But, Erin, I know. I care. I love you. You have to trust me in this." God broke in at that moment. I felt a peace I never knew before wash over me. God knows. God is here. He is present and He is active.
I recognized the creator of the universe knew this happened. He also knew the men who robbed me. He knew their hearts. I saw it at that moment. Maybe this wasn't even about me. What if no one had ever prayed for the thieves? What if they never knew love? What if this was God's way of pursuing them? So I prayed. I prayed for the young men who robbed me. I cried out to God for them. What are the odds they rob a Christian? God knew, this wasn't a chance encounter but a huge opportunity. I will continue to pray for them until I die. Let this be the turning point in their lives. I get excited to think when I get to heaven how cool it will be to run into them!
I also recognized what God has done in me. It is my nature to explode in anger. I have a flaring temper. And, certainly far from a righteous anger. God clearly has been working for me to pray for those men rather than want to track them down and make them pay. (Don't get me wrong, in the heat of the moment I wanted so badly to punch them in the face.)
A few more lessens were learned in this time, as well. I never knew how I would react in a situation like this. My dad always taught me to fight back. He use to tell me you never hear survivor stories from people who give in. He also told me if a criminal intends to hurt you, they will hurt you whether you react or not. I'm glad to know within the split second I had to react, I refused to be a victim.
When I returned to the US, I learned another valuable lesson. While talking to a wonderful woman in my church, Pam Hunt, she responded with the best reaction I had heard. "You know, everything you have is God's, right? If this is how God chooses to use His camera and the money spent on it, then you should trust Him in this." Amen. All I have is God's. He can give and He can take. Do I really believe that or do I say it because I think I should?
That Sunday, my pastor gave a message and spoke about Job's reaction. Job asked, "Should we accept good from the Lord and not adversity?"
But most importantly, God knows.
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