Returning to Oz....

A few years ago at my church, we sang a song.  It went something like "all I am is Yours".  My pastor asked us after we got done singing if we really meant that or if we were still holding something in our hands.  I knew I was.  I was holding on to security and comfort. The next time we sang that song I lifted my hands and opened them.  In my heart I said, "God, I want to mean this.  Everything I am and have really is Yours.  Use me, even if it's going to be scary." 

Shortly after that, I felt called to foreign missions.  Eight months ago, I was on a plane headed to Australia.  I sat there thinking, "Is this really happening?  I just quit a really good job in a bad economy.  I left so many friends and an amazing church.  But, I'm so excited!"  

My entire 6 months of the Discipleship Training School, I was praying about what was next.  I knew I was wrecked for the ordinary. I couldn't just go back to the States, get a normal job, tithe 10%, go on short-term mission trips every few years.... I knew I was created for something so much bigger. 

It came to an accumulation during week 5, Lordship week, when I knew God was asking me to lay Boise at His feet and surrender to where ever He would call me next.  I didn't want to but I did it.   

Still every time I prayed about my future, God wouldn't give me an answer. I felt like He kept telling me to live in the "here and now".  Not looking to what is next all the time.  It was a huge lesson and I'm so glad I did because I learned so much and enjoyed my time.  

I was frustrated, however, the week of graduation when I still didn't know.  Frustrated further as I traveled Australia afterward and didn't have any answers. 

After visiting my last group of friends at the Gold Coast before flying back to Sydney to return to the States, I cried my eyes out.  I thought I would completely fall apart on the plane.  Tears streamed down my face.  I felt like I had just grown hugely and now I would be returning to the States with no job and no idea what was next.  

After a nightmare of backed up flights in Sydney (volcanic ash wreaking havoc on Australia's flights), I boarded my plane to return.  I wanted to cry more.  I was leaving a place I loved so much.  Would I ever see it again?  

I sat in my seat and a peace fell over me.  As we took off, I felt incredible comfort.  Then I heard God's voice in a whisper.  "It's okay, you're coming back." 

But, how? And when?  I still didn't know.  So I took comfort that some day I would return. 

After getting back the more I thought about returning to staff in Townsville, the more excited I got.  I honestly didn't think I would go back on staff.  It didn't feel like an option when I was there.  I don't know why, but it didn't.  Now, I don't know how I missed that option the whole time.  

So, after more prayer, I will be returning to Australia in 2012.... likely early March.  Until then, I will raise support, work, and trust God for further direction.  I'm so excited!!!