February 2012 Letter

I have been struggling to fill everyone in over the past month.  I feel like the past few months I’ve been singing the same song, going through the same struggles, and slowly but surely getting ready to head into missions.  I didn’t feel much new was going on…. Until last night, that is.

I decided to listen to a sermon by Francis Chan.  Chan talked about Daniel 4.  He shared that King Nebuchadnezzar understood God’s power and sovereignty to a deep level, and we need to grow in our understanding of this as well.  We cannot be elevated or brought low without God’s hand in it.  God’s will for us endures above all else.  The entire world can disagree with God, even the angels can disagree with God and yet He prevails. 

Daniel 4:34-35, “…I blessed the Most High and praised and honored Him who lives forever; for His dominion is an everlasting dominion, and His kingdom endures from generation to generation. All the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing, but He does according to His will in the host of heaven and among the in habitants of earth; and no one can ward off his hand or say to Him, ‘What have You done?’”

But, it goes beyond that.  While God has this power, He still chose to come to earth.  He still chose to humble Himself to death on a cross.  Not because He had to but because He wanted to.  Chan shared that in our own lives we, as Christians, should be imitators of Christ in this.  He talked about giving up everything: comfort, social norms, reputation, even his church, to live for Christ.  Not because we have to, but because nothing else should matter in our lives but making disciples of all the nations, baptizing them….     

I have to admit, the past few weeks I have been sucked in by materialism.  I have wasted time looking at and pursuing things that fade.  My list of “needs” before I return to Australia continued to grow at an alarming rate.  I started making ‘wish lists’ for clothes and other things.  I haven’t had the resources to actually purchase anything but in my heart I was compiling all these treasures and clinging to them.  I have wasted hours looking, coveting. 

Less than a year ago, I spent 3 of the best weeks of my life in East Timor living in a shed on a cot with 4 t-shirts, 2 pairs of pants, and little food or resources.   I was so content and happy.  I also had more than anyone else in the village and all I had fit into a backpack. 

I have repented, but, admittedly, I am still struggling wanting more.  God didn’t call me into missions to elevate me. He isn’t even necessarily going to bless me.  All I have is only because He chose to give it to me.  It is more than I need.  In the process of support coming in, I have to stop believing any of it is by my efforts.  I cannot trust in my own ability.  God is the one who is providing.  He is the one putting people in my path to support me.  My job is to be a good steward of what He has entrusted me with.  My job is to live for God and point people to Him.   

King Nebuchadnezzar was the ruler of the greatest kingdom on earth at the time.  He had more power and wealth than anyone else could even imagine. Yet, God humbled him, stripping him of even his sanity.   Who am I to expect anything from God? 

Prayer and Praise:

-I am currently at about $960 in monthly support!  Leaving about $500 a month to still come in. (4.5 more weeks!)   

-Visa is in process, they contacted me wanting more support information before accepting or denying it.  

-Pray for continued focus to be Christ centered and not “me” centered.

-Thanks to the Neely’s for having provided room and board to me over the past 6 months, allowing me resources to prepare for missions.